You know you’ve grown up when you realize that the adults you thought were so perfect and idealistic become more human and imperfect. It’s a hard thing to realize and you have to be careful not to discount all the wonderful things they still are just because you realize that they aren’t as perfect as you once thought they were.
I have a conversation I want to bring up about a previous conversation that happened over another conversation. As I thought about bringing the next conversation up I started to think that it probably wouldn’t do any good. their would be no closure, nothing would be resolved, it would just bring up another conversation. the idea came to mind that I should just forgive and let it go. That was a hard idea in one way. I knew it was right and the only way to end it. A little part of me felt like it wouldn’t really bring happiness and I should keep trying to get my feelings understood. I decided that the latter idea wasn’t one from someone that had my best interest at heart. The former idea or forgiving was from someone who did. I will see if I made the right choice, in time.
This was taken from LDS.org website:
“To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed. The scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. The Lord commands us to repent of our sins and seek His forgiveness. He also commands us to forgive those who offend or hurt us.”
“In the everyday circumstances of life, we will surely be wronged by other people—sometimes innocently and sometimes intentionally. It is easy to become bitter or angry or vengeful in such situations, but this is not the Lord’s way. The Savior counseled, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). He set the perfect example of forgiveness when He was on the cross. Referring to the Roman soldiers who had crucified Him, He prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34; see footnote c ).
We should pray for strength to forgive those who have wronged us, and we should abandon feelings of anger, bitterness, or revenge. We should also look for the good in others rather than focusing on their faults and magnifying their weaknesses. God will be the judge of others’ harmful actions.”
I was struck this last Sunday when a member of the high preist quorum brought, to talk with him in sacrament meeting, a young Elder preparing to go on a mission. This young Elder was to speak first, and was witty and clever as all young Elders are at his age. Then he got serious for a moment, not too serious, but serious enough to show the proper reverence and respect for his talk. He started with the scripture:
Matt. 5:13
“Ye are the asalt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.”
Then he asked us what it means to be the salt of the earth. He suggested a few things like, Salt was good for preserving back then, so we are preservers; salt was good for food preparation, so we are preparers; and salt was valued at such a cost that it could be bartered with like money; so we are precious and valuable.
Then he asked a question:
“So if we, as disciples of Jesus Christ, are the salt of the earth, are we better than other people?”
Some members of the congregation shook their heads, some remained still, some looked around. Then he said,
“Let me ask that in anther way; SHOULD we be better?”
there was an amazing quiet that came over the room as we thought of that.
He read a scripture about how disciples are meek, humble, longsuffering, ready to forgive, patient and kind, Temperant, full of mercy, repentant, and prayerful, and constantly desirous to bless the whole human family.
Then he read a scripture in 1 nephi 17: 35
” 35 Behold, the Lord esteemeth all aflesh in one; he that is brighteous is cfavored of God.”
And he made another point. That if we are his disciples who have not lost their savor, and can preserve righteousness on the earth, prepare ourselves and others, and be precious by keeping our testimony and light strong that we will not think ourselves better than anyone else, nor will we elevate ourselves above anyone, in would not be in our disposition. We would esteem all flesh as one and pray for those who are not coming unto Him.
I really enjoyed his talk. He used a lot of scriptures to bring across his point, and ended on Pres. James E. Fausts quote:
“Too often we try to follow God without offending the devil. Let us remember that no man can serve two masters. We either Follow Jesus, or we don’t. There is no middle ground. We cannot please the world by following its precepts, and please God.”
I wanted to include this in my blog because it was important enough to me that I am aiming on making it a conscientious daily goal.
I hope that all of my friends and family are doing well today.
Our doctor has extended the baby’s due date. I am trying to be patient and not complain.
There is a news article posted yesterday:
OGDEN — An Ogden woman cannot believe a stranger paid her $65 bill at the grocery store.
The Ogden Standard-Examiner reports it happened around 8 p.m. Friday at the Albertsons at 20th Street and Harrison Boulevard.
Frances Martinez reached the register but had a problem with her debit card. She stepped aside to call the bank. She says when she came back, the checker had surprising news.
“She goes, ‘The lady behind you paid for all your groceries; $65 worth.’ I said, ‘Who was it? What does she look like?’” Martinez said.
But the woman was gone.
Martinez tells the Standard-Examiner she went home and cried. “That doesn’t happen, hardly ever. Now with the economy so bad, it’s wonderful that someone would do that,” Martinez said.
This story reminded me of a situatioin that happened to our family recently. It was right after Christmas that I was waiting in line at Costa Vida with my oldest son. I was tired and pregnant and had had anemotional morning. My son was concerned and wanted to be with me so I held his hand and we talked as we waited for the long line to shorten and we could haveour turn. As we waited there a man entered the restaurant and walked right up to me. He put his hand on my arm and handed me something that I had supposed he would be asking me to give to someone within my reach. Instead he held my arm, looked me in the eyes and said clearly and softly, “Merry Christmas.” I looked at the card in my hand and could only think of responding with a simple, “Thank you.” He lefft the place and I stood a little dumbfounded as I looked at the costa vida gift card for twenty dollars in my hand. All kinds of thought went through my head. At first I paniked that he might think I was a single mother, that he was trying to do a good deed for someone who really needed it and thought it might be me. Then I paniked that he thought I might be in need in some other way, but it was obvious with my sons new red coat on and my new tan one that we did not look like we were in need. Then I felt guilty that he had done a kind act, supposeing he wanted to do it for someone in need, and that it had landed on me instead. I began to look through the line for the right person to give the gift to. Then a calm feeling, like somebody putting their warm hands on your shoulders in a loving way to get your attention, came over me and a thought struck me. “Maybe he was just doing something for someone to be nice, because there isn’t very much of that going on in the world.” That had a made a strong impression with me. I had always thought that people did things for people who were in need, but this was someone who was doing something for someone just to do it. There was so much of anger, critisism, gossip, faultfinding, judgement, tearing down, complaining, unkindness, and unhappiness everywhere.
Do you remember the last time someone smiled at you in understanding when you didn’t see them to your right as you were about to change lanes? Or the person at the grocery store who smiled and said excuse me as you came around the corner unaware that they were about to exit? Or the person who gave you the benefit of the doubt when you said something a little odd but they could tell you meant no harm, and they wouldn’t expose you to gossip or ridicule? Those are things I have done over and over again sincce the experience, just to give my two cents of the better way to live. It hasn’t been easy, you don’t always receive the same treatment in return, and it hasn’t become part of my natural character to do it, it’s still a choice and an effort I have to make because I want to someday be a better person than I am now. But I am grateful to al those people out there who are trying to do the same thing. Who are just doing the right thing because it’s right, not because they will receive any recognition or any special privileages. IN fact, as someone once told me, it’s one of those things you can chalk up to being another “Silent Victory’ in life. Your secret alone, something you did to make another persons day and nobody else knows about it except one:
“And the Lord who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” Matt. 6:6
And what greater reward can we have than from the LORD? The Prince of Peace.
My little two and a half year old boy was playing with me while I was trying to prepare a lesson on the computer. I reached out and grabbed his hands and tickled his palms. He laughed and then wrapped his arms around my arm, disabling me once again from typing. I wrapped my arm around him and hugged him, then he grabbed my hands again. I went to tickle his hand and he said,
“No, stop, stop.”
I didn’t know what he meant so I went back to typing.
He grabbed my hands again, I assumed by how he had grabbed them that he wanted to play so I went to tickle him.
“No, stop, stop.” He said. I chuckled and turned to him to ask him what he wanted. Before I could get the words out he had aligned his little fingers up along mine, as best as he could, and then spread his little hands out and interlocked our fingers together. Once that was accomplished he stood contently next to me, looking around, swinging my arm with his.
I looked at his little happy face. I felt the love in my heart grow, and then I went to pick him up and hold him in my arms, to which he replied,
” Stop, stop.” and readjusted our hands back into the intertwined lock they had been placed in before.
I can’t tell you the measure of emotion I felt at having such a sweet thing as my son standing next to me, holding my hand, as part of his days activity.
Any substance that can cause severe distress or death if ingested, breathed in, or absorbed through the skin.
a. To pollute: contaminate.
9 March 2009 Like other large faith groups, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sometimes finds itself on the receiving end of attention from Hollywood or Broadway, television series or books, and the news media. Sometimes depictions of the Church and its people are quite accurate. Sometimes the images are false or play to stereotypes. Occasionally, they are in appallingly bad taste.
As Catholics, Jews and Muslims have known for centuries, such attention is inevitable once an institution or faith group reaches a size or prominence sufficient to attract notice. Yet Latter-day Saints – sometimes known as Mormons - still wonder whether and how they should respond when news or entertainment media insensitively trivialize or misrepresent sacred beliefs or practices.
Church members are about to face that question again. Before the first season of the HBO series Big Love aired more than two years ago, the show’s creators and HBO executives assured the Church that the series wouldn’t be about Mormons. However, Internet references to Big Love indicate that more and more Mormon themes are now being woven into the show and that the characters are often unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous. And according to TV Guide, it now seems the show’s writers are to depict what they understand to be sacred temple ceremonies.
Certainly Church members are offended when their most sacred practices are misrepresented or presented without context or understanding. Last week some Church members began e-mail chains calling for cancellations of subscriptions to AOL, which, like HBO, is owned by Time Warner. Certainly such a boycott by hundreds of thousands of computer-savvy Latter-day Saints could have an economic impact on the company. Individual Latter-day Saints have the right to take such actions if they choose.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an institution does not call for boycotts. Such a step would simply generate the kind of controversy that the media loves and in the end would increase audiences for the series. As Elder M. Russell Ballard and Elder Robert D. Hales of the Council of the Twelve Apostles have both said recently, when expressing themselves in the public arena, Latter-day Saints should conduct themselves with dignity and thoughtfulness.
Not only is this the model that Jesus Christ taught and demonstrated in his own life, but it also reflects the reality of the strength and maturity of Church members today. As someone recently said, “This isn’t 1830, and there aren’t just six of us anymore.” In other words, with a global membership of thirteen and a half million there is no need to feel defensive when the Church is moving forward so rapidly. The Church’s strength is in its faithful members in 170-plus countries, and there is no evidence that extreme misrepresentations in the media that appeal only to a narrow audience have any long-term negative effect on the Church.
Examples:
Now comes another series of Big Love, and despite earlier assurances from HBO it once again blurs the distinctions between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the show’s fictional non-Mormon characters and their practices. Such things say much more about the insensitivities of writers, producers and TV executives than they say about Latter-day Saints.
If the Church allowed critics and opponents to choose the ground on which its battles are fought, it would risk being distracted from the focus and mission it has pursued successfully for nearly 180 years. Instead, the Church itself will determine its own course as it continues to preach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world.
Building children’s self-esteem and confidence is something in which both parents and teachers have a vested interest. Sadly not every child develops with healthy self-confidence or strong self-esteem. The reasons for this may be many, but that is for another article. What will be covered here are some tips and strategies for building children’s self–esteem and confidence that should bring good results
It is never too late to start building children’s self-esteem and confidence. From the time they are infants and can make eye contact our children look to us for feedback. They smile at us and we smile back which gives them positive feedback. They role over and we are excited, so are they and on it goes. If we treat this gift we are given of having such impact on another human being’s life with respect, our child has the opportunity of growing into a confident child and then a teenager.
One of the best ways we can foster confidence and self-esteem in our children is by taking care of ourselves. Children will eventually mirror what they see. If we as parents are lacking in confidence or have poor self-esteem that will be the most influencing example a child will view. If our confidence and self-esteem is healthy that will favorably impact what our child learns.
Praising children is a wonderful way of helping them to gain confidence, but don’t make the mistake of underestimating your children. Kids know when they are being conned. If your praise is general and all encompassing it loses much of its influence and can even produce anxiety in the child on the receiving end of it. Praise should be based on reality, in that way it can actually aid in building children’s self esteem and confidence.
Try not to use phrases like “you always do such a great job” or “you’re always so neat”. Children know that they are not always able to achieve this type of perfection and it can cause stress. If instead you get specific with your praise it will carry more weight. Phrases such as, “I really liked the way you lined up all of your stuffed animals when you were straightening your room”, or, “I noticed you were putting forth a lot of effort in your math homework”, deal with specific situations and allow your child to understand exactly what the praise is about.
Sometimes parents believe that by constantly praising their children they are insuring that they will have a confident child with great self-esteem. What happens however is that they end up with a child who needs constant praise or is disappointed when the rest of the world doesn’t hold them in as high of a regard. If instead the child is allowed to form a solid inner opinion of them selves based on reality, they have a far greater chance of developing healthy self-esteem and confidence that can withstand the bumps in the road we all inevitably face.
Children also need constructive criticism. Using always or never when giving such criticism does far more damage to budding confidence than we might want to believe.
The same way we keep our praise grounded in reality, we should also construct our criticism. Stay focused on the facts and use statements reflecting your thoughts and feelings. “I noticed that you have not cleaned your room and our family rules are that rooms are to be neat before we go outside to play. I would like you to please take care of that now” will go further in helping your child see unacceptable behavior than “you never clean your room when you’re told to”.
When giving criticism to our children it should be about the behavior we are trying to correct and not about the child. A child who feels constantly attacked is not going to develop healthy self-esteem or self confidence. Also, when an occasion comes up that we need to issue constructive criticism, if at all possible take the child aside. This accomplishes two goals. One, the child is better able to accept the criticism if they are not dealing with being embarrassed, and two, the child is receiving respect. This teaches the child a valuable lesson in showing respect to others.
Building children’s self-esteem and confidence is indeed a worthwhile endeavor as they are truly our future. If we invest wisely in our future it is sure to pay us great dividends.
1. My husband reading scriptures with me at night and holding my hand while we talk about them.
2. My kids waking up and greeting me with, “HI MOM”, as they give me a hug.
3.My husband using my eyeliner or lipstick on the wall of the shower, or on the mirror in the bathroom to leave obscene messages.
4.My kids making a mess with something they know they shouldn’t, on the bathroom walls, because daddy did it, and then crying on cue of being caught and apologizing while declaring their infinite love for me.
….can you tell what kind of day I had?
5. the smell of breakfast.
6. a book that makes you laugh and cry, and can leave you in suspense.
7.cookie cutter sandwiches.
8.cold vanilla ice cream with hot, right out of the oven brownies.
9. a good run.
10. Robin coming home.
11. playing hide and go seek with the kids.
12. dancing.
13. raking leaves, shoveling snow, running through the sprinkler or lying wet on the hot cement as the sun goes down.
14.homemade bread and homemade jam.
15.watching Robin cook with the kids.
16. a new baby.
17. Andrea Bocelli
18. ice skating.
19. a good laugh.
20. a good cry.
I just read the entire book of, ‘The uses of Adversity” today, by Carlfred Broderick. I love short books with really strong messages, ones that let you read them in under an hour and think about them all day. There are so many beliefs out there, false ideas, that if someone is living right nothing bad will ever happen to them. I never believed that. I always thought that life would happen to you no matter how you were living, but blessings would only come to those who were faithful and obedient, thus encouragement for being faithful and obedient.
Lately I have gained a perspective of the atonement that I hadn’t had earlier in life; that it is there for me, and for the people that I love, and for the people that I dont know and/or don’t love. It’s been a deep seeded feeling that has touched me not to care less about any person but to care even more for them, especially the ones who are the hardest to care for.
I met a man who went through a difficult time, and he and his wife went through a devastating adversity where much was at stake, even life. He told me that once he was able to get out of it and see a bit of light, and feel a bit of releif, his perspective changed. He didn’t want to do or say or think anything that could cause anyone more pain in their life. He is probably one of the most compassionate, caring, Christlike souls I have ever met. He used his adversity as a tool, it never defeated him. I appreciate his aquaintance and his wifes, she is also someone who understanding, and kindness flow from.
I’m grateful to Emily Watts, who persued the publishing of the book until it was done.